I’ve seen and learned so many things.
I’m starting to understand myself, my needs and my desires A LOT BETTER.
I pray the intuition prayer as often as I can think to. And I feel it moving through the way my mind, body, and emotions react to everyday situations…. and people.
I now know when I don’t want something; and this is significant because for years I was the girl who was never sure. I just could never be certain. My uncertainty has cost me time, money, love, and friendships. I lacked the confidence to trust my own heart. I was led by fear. And now, I’m extremely proud to say that I’m someone who can draw hards lines and solid decisions.
I won’t say that I’m always right. I know that I’m not.
But I still feel absolutely at peace with every ending and new beginning in my life, because I chose them. And when the temptation of doubt creeps up my neck, whispering, “Maybe I shouldn’t have unfriended, maybe I shouldn’t have walked away from him,” my auto replies are in place! “Maybe. But I did. And I am comfortable with that and eager to see WHAT COMES NEXT.”
And truth be told, this works because nature does in fact abhor a vacuum as science suggests. A religious man say it like, “There’s always a ram in the bush.” And a Gucci fan may say it like, “Girls are like buses, miss one, next 15 minutes, one coming.” All to say….
Don’t be Afraid to Lose!
Losing was the bedrock of me discovering my truest and most heartfelt desires. When it [it being: my A1 from Day 1 friends, my boyfriend of 5 years, my good grades, my supportive peers, and the plan I thought I had for my life] was gone, I could plainly see what I was capable of surviving without. I could see what cost too much… what cost too much money, what cost too much joy, what cost too much integrity with little to no return, no…
Return on investment, its important in business and personal finance but its also important in your life. You are LIMITED, you are FINITE. You can only give so much of time. ROI! You can only give so much of your energy. ROI! You can only give so much of your money. ROI! You will run out… mostly because you will not live forever… not in this form anyway. So you need to chose what you invest and what you invest in very carefully.
But here’s the thing… Lose. Gracefully. But still cry when you to cry.
There are a number of relationships, platonic, familiar, and romantic alike that I still mourn. And I let myself do this so that the emotion can run its course. And when its done my head is clearer and Self trusts me more because I have allowed myself to practice honesty with myself without betraying my safety.
Most often, when we lie to ourselves we do so to protect ourselves from painful outcomes that may come from acknowledging the truth. I don’t let these emotions move me to stay or return to unfruitful situations, but I allow myself to grieve their loss because… I AM HUMAN.
I will miss things that harmed me.
I will love people who do not value me.
At times I might even sympathize with the most”devilish” of “fiends”.
And it's because I decided long ago that I am determined to see the good in everyone and the good intention in everything.
I’m determined to give people the understanding and empathy that I’ve never found.
And that’s okay.
What’s not okay is allowing things to harm me because of my beliefs. I have the ability to see things (and most importantly myself) as they are and move accordingly. That is my power.
Keturah is allowed to love you and miss you and grieve you.
But she is not allowed to call or invite you back into her life.
Because she knows that you cost too much, too much time, too much joy, too much energy, too much character…
And I am confident that I do not want to lose any more of these things in my lifetime. You are too expensive.
Knowing what I do not want has led to me knowing exactly who I am and exactly what I do want. And these connections have allowed me to trust my intuition, to know it and to even follow it blindly.
Through truth, I have built true synchronicity with myself which give me success in all my true pursuits.
And although this is in fact a super power, its something we all can access without being super human
Draw Hard Lines
Be Present with Yourself
Change your life. Change the world.
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